Friday, 30 January 2009

blehhh.

Has anyone else noticed...just when one part of your life starts to go ok...the other part collapses magnificently....

Soooo anyway....


Life sucks.
My mother and my mates gang up against me.
Someone hates me enough to steal all my stuff.
I miss someone loads and loads.
Well, actually thats 3 people I miss.
Even though I saw 2 of them today.
Although its unlikely I'll ever see the 3rd again.
What with her being dead, and everything.
I miss my hubby.
And gregory...
Ever have that feeling when you really really want a hug from specific people...
But they're nowhere near you.

I hate it.
I hate quite a few things.
But probably not you. :)
x

Thursday, 29 January 2009

J'AIME CA. (part one)

THESE ARE THE BESTEST BUDDIES EVER!



GREG.x






ELLEN.x








HUSBAND.x








JAZZ.x & POOLEY.x










LABO.x & COLEYY.x





PARVEEEN.x






FREDDIE.x








More soon, promise.
If you're not in this one,, then you're probably in the next one.
xxx

Wednesday, 28 January 2009

random complaints/memorys to keep.

I feel sick.
Permenantly.
Its gay.

As Sope said..."Hannah, you're the one thats going to end up in casualty"
And of course he was right.

I don't think things through enough.
Whats the point in taking sides with people, when everyone ends up ignoring you.

Life is stupid.
I don't fit in anywhere,
At least not properly.
I envy Jazz&Pooley.
I know they hate it but...they're the cutest.
And the bridge thing would probably happen.

JCS earlier...Poor Nick.
Felt soo sorry for him.
She was proper harsh.

Back stage was hilarious.
(L)Nick&Jimmy doing the lassoo.
Me, Rosie, Nick and Jimmy doing the Soul Girls dance...only freestyle...
;)

(L) all my friendsss.
Actually (L) to the whole world.
i mean...why the fuck not?

xxx

Monday, 26 January 2009

MSN conversation avec Davidd.

HAHAHA.

All that needs to be said.

(L)

PEANUTS&LEGS.

ALSO...2centimeters?
Personally i thought it was inches...

;)


EXCUSES EXCUSES.
literally.

That is all.
(L)Husbandd.



Sunday, 25 January 2009

BEST WEEKEND EVER.

For reasons unknown to many people I had the best weekend EVER.

Friday after-schoool was sooo joookess.
Had a maaaasssive laugh avec Sope.

And then SATURDAY.
Had a looong msn convo with myy bestest mateee.
In which we becameee even better friends somhow me thinkss.


ANYWAY...
long story short.


I am majorlyy happy right now.
:D

LOVE YOU.x

Saturday, 24 January 2009

Heartless.Just remembered.

I just talked about something that i havent for aages.
But i was listening to this song at the same time.
And it kinda fits.
Only replace She with He,Woman with man...etc.



Kanye West-Heartless.



In the night, I hear 'em talk,
the coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul to a woman so heartless...
How could you be so heartless?
Oh... How could you be so heartless?


How could you be so, cold as the winter wind when it breeze, yo
Just remember that you talkin' to me though
You need to watch the way you talkin' to me, yo
I mean after all the things that we've been through
I mean after all the things we got into
Hey yo, I know of some things that you ain't told me
Hey yo, I did some things but that's the old me
And now you wanna get me back and you gon' show me
So you walk around like you don't know me
You got a new friend, well I got homies
But in the end it's still so lonely


In the night, I hear 'em talk,
the coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul to a woman so heartless...
How could you be so heartless?
Oh... How could you be so heartless?


How could you be so Dr. Evil, you bringin' out a side of me that I dont know...
I decided we weren't gon' speak so
Why we up 3 A.M. on the phone
Why does she be so mad at me fo'
Homie I dont know, she's hot and cold
I won't stop, won't mess my groove up
'Cause I already know how this thing go
You run and tell your friends that you're leaving me
They say that they don't see what you see in me
You wait a couple months then you gon' see
You'll never find nobody better than me


In the night, I hear 'em talk,
the coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul to a woman so heartless...
How could you be so heartless?
Oh... How could you be so heartless?


Talkin', talkin', talkin', talk
Baby let's just knock it off
They don't know what we been through
They don't know 'bout me and you
So I got something new to see
And you just gon' keep hatin' me
And we just gon' be enemies
I know you can't believe
I could just leave it wrong
And you can't make it right
I'm gon' take off tonight
Into the night....


In the night, I hear 'em talk,
the coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul to a woman so heartless...
How could you be so heartless?
Oh... How could you be so heartless?



thankyou for caring Greg.x

50 things I've done.

1)Have been forced to stretch so far i could barely walk the next day.

2)Been hit in the face with a hockey ball, and still be playing half an hour later.

3)Knelt on the floor to measure my skirt length.

4)Had a pillow fight, and broken a pillow.

5)Considered killing myself(in German)

6)Considered killing several other people.

7)Broken up a bitch fight.

8)Accidentally phoned the police at a mates house.

9)Got so drunk I walked into a table and didn't notice.

10)Thrown up my stomach lining.

11)Told someone I loved them and meant it.

12)Told someone I loved them and not meant it.

13)Been tripped by someone, and fallen into a locker.

14)Winded someone, and then hit my head into the edge of a locker.

15)Accidentally fallen down the stairs, and ended up in the splits.

16)Convinced someone I owned a castle.

17)Laughed so hard I collapsed.

18)Had a blood test 4 times in a month.

19)Not eaten in 3 days, and not been hungry.

20)Been told by someone that they have a girlfriend, after getting off with them.

21)Been told that people only like me because of my boobs.

22)Been told that someone would trust me with their life.

23)Cried for about 15 minutes because of a blog.

24)Listened to Usher,Katy Perry and Blondie, in a row, and sung along to them all.

25)Watched the NumberJacks, and thought "What happened to the Teletubbies?"

26)Laughed at someone being hit in the head with a dart.

27)Laughed at a mate getting concussion.

28)Told my maths teacher he was an idiot, and got an afterschool.

29)Been told I have no hip bones.

30)Had my whole school uniform stolen.

31)Been told to stop flirting.

32)Been told my ipod is too loud.

33)Got angry, and thrown my phone on the floor.

35)Had a pen fight...and lost.

36)Sat next to someone for a year, and still not known their name.

37)Asked if i was going out with my best mate(who is male.)

38)Been given a leaflet in town...for pole dancing.

39)Had a fake fight with my best mate.

40)Made someone cry and regretted it.

41)Knocked my best mate out with a charity pot.(by accident)

42)Not revised for a test and still got full marks.

43)Dressed like a prostitute.

44)Slapped someone for making my friend cry.

45)Sung really loudly in the middle of school.

46)Been screwed over by a guy, and cried for an hour.

47)Gone to 6 funerals in a year.

48)Felt safe, just because of the person hugging me.

49)Set up my best mate, and succeeded.

50)Loved someone so much it hurt.

GREG

Just wanted to say...


You are the best friend ever.
And I will never ever leave you.
Unless you want me to.
I know several people who agree with this.
I wouldn't have you change for the world.

LOVE YOU.x

SONG I LOVE.xx

I love this song.
Officially.
She is such a good singer/songwriter.
And i would have to agree with her.
Especially with one line.


The Fear by Lily Allen.



I want to be rich and I want lots of money
I don’t care about clever I don’t care about funny
I want loads of clothes and fuckloads of diamonds
I heard people die while they are trying to find them

I’ll take my clothes off and it will be shameless
‘Cuz everyone knows that’s how you get famous
I’ll look at the sun and I’ll look in the mirror
I’m on the right track yeah I’m on to a winner


I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore
I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore
When do you think it will all become clear?
‘Cuz I’m being taken over by The Fear

Life’s about film stars and less about mothers
It’s all about fast cars cussing each other
But it doesn’t matter cause I’m packing plastic
and that’s what makes my life so fucking fantastic

And I am a weapon of massive consumption
and its not my fault it’s how I’m programmed to function
I’ll look at the sun and I’ll look in the mirror
I’m on the right track yeah we're on to a winner


I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore
I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore
When do you think it will all become clear?
‘Cuz I’m being taken over by The Fear


Forget about guns and forget ammunition
Cause I’m killing them all on my own little mission
Now I’m not a saint but I’m not a sinner
Now everything's cool as long as I’m getting thinner


I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore
I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore
When do you think it will all become clear?
‘Cause I’m being taken over by fear



(L)

xxx

Friday, 23 January 2009

question?

Just a random question....

would you get annoyed if your best mate went out with/fancied your brother/sister?


Cos i dont think i would but who knowss...

x

Tuesday, 20 January 2009

:|

Yay Obama.
Woopdidoo.

Guess what happened today?
Hywelly was actually nice.
Apparently ive lost weight
Hes such a nice kid...no?


what else happened...?
nothing really.
i dont know why i even bother anymore.


school is gay.
i feel like crap.
thats the general message for today.

Monday, 19 January 2009

FOR YOU...YEAH YOU FREDDIE!

FREDDIE!

You are my mate.
SOOO :D.


And you are tres special.
so you get a blog to yourself!!!

:)
x

And you think you're strange...

This is how my mind works.


My brother is talking to the X-box.
Or is he talking to me?
Well if he is i dont actually care.
Havent played Xbox in years.
Must get Davids live ID at some point.
Shit, ive got to choreograph that tomorrow.
I wonder if greg is staying as well.
Or shall i go sainsburys?
I owe Sope sweets.
He's still shouting at the X-box.
I think he's playing FIFA 09.
thats a well boring game.
like that film my dad was watching earlier.
I was watching a film earlier.
Heath Ledger is FINE.
shame he's dead.
Haahahaa we were talking about that earlier.
And greg said the guy from Twilight wasnt fit.
He's clearly insane.
Cos that guy is FINE as wel.


I wonder why my brother needs 3 types of Lynx?
Surely he's only gonna use one.
Although it does smell Lush.
Like bacon.
Although last time i ate bacon I puked.
the last time i puked i threw up the stomach lining.
that hurt.
i should probably eat more.
im not hungry though.
i hate breakfast.
Coooookie Crisp....next time their mine!
HAHAHA that wolf thing was odd.
i miss the sugar puffs guy though.
Or there's Tony....LOL.
ogod i hate that word.
So does Rosie.
Oooooh i have a dance lesson tomorrow.
Shit where are my shoes?!?
Oh...its ok their in my locker.
im thirsty.
damm theres no more smoothie.
That was yummy.
Im tired.
I should sleep soon.
Angus' alarm clock is well strange.
Anyway...BED.
Shit i need to find eclipse.
where the fuck is it???
oh its in the bookcase,
i think.
Lets go now.
i cba to read through wat i just wrote.
oh well.
BYE!x

Friday, 16 January 2009

SMILES

I felt I should make a happy blog for once.
Well, sort of.

I have decided I'm going to live for today.
So that if I died tomorrow, I would be happy.

So that means, I will always be honest. Even if it will make someone hurt for a while.
So that everything would be sorted, if you get me.


No one will be left thinking-" i wonder what we were going to talk about" etc.
So I'm sorry if you get affected by that.
But I'm just gonna do what i reckon is right.

Laters...
 

Wednesday, 14 January 2009

random thoughts.

Some more things that I was thinking about...
Just a warning this is going to go of in random tangents.

why is it that a girl can never just be friends with a guy, without the whole year thinking they are going out?

See, to me, this seems a bit stupid.
Cos i have so many guy friends, that i must be some kind of serial bigamist according to some twats.

And another thing...
I should feel really happy at the moment.
Because even if i feel a bit sick, worse things have happened...right?

I mean, I haven't got a lethal virus (i hope) and i have food, so I'm not gonna starve.

But here i am feeling really sorry for myself for no apparent reason. 
Its not like i should be depressed.
Sooooo many good things are right in my life.

My parents are neither divorced, nor likely to get divorced.
I haven't been to a funeral in about 6 months.
My bezzie is really happy, therefore je suis also tres bon.
I have dropped loads of weight, and am nearly at my target weight.
None of my friends are unhappy (if you are...WHY HAVEN'T YOU TOLD ME ALREADY!!!)
I am not horribly disfigured, or anything...



See when you listen to the news....I just think...How desensitised is our generation?

You hear a newsreader talking about the death toll in the Gaza strip.
But then every one's talking about Jonathan Ross coming back.

WHERE IS THE FUCKING SENSE?

People die every single second.
I hate that fact.
"Every time you click your fingers, someone just died"



I guess I'm just a pessimist.
I always see the bad things.
I wish i didn't though.

Just thinking back...although i haven't known him that long, i don't think Ive ever seen Greg angry or upset.

I don't know if that's cos he doesn't get upset or cos it doesn't show.
But i hope its not the latter.



ALSO.

I'd just like to say.
whoever you are.
I don't care if you're a stranger.
If you have a problem share it with me.
Cos i find helping other people helps me for some strange reason.

So yeah.
I don't care what its about.
Could be anything.
I will try my best to help.
And even though I'm really stupid,
I'm actually quite good at listening and helping apparently.
So give it a try.
I wont tell.
PROMISE.

One more thing.
If I die tomorrow.
I'll miss you.


And yes i would take a bullet for you, so don't think I'm lying. Cos I'm not. :)





Spur of the moment thing.

Have you ever genuinely thought about dying?
It sounds like a pretty morbid question, but its one that's surprisingly relevant.

There are quite a few people i would seriously consider dying for, simply because without them I would be pretty lost.
I thought I'd make a list, just to see.

1. Family. Because no matter how much i complain, I've got nicer parents than some.
2. The friends:
a) Ellen.
b) Jazz.
c) Parve.
d) Greg.
e) Husband.
f) David.
g) Labo.
h) Rosie.
i) Nicole.
j) Hutty.
k) Pooley.
l) Sope.


A few people might wonder why they are on that list, but they shouldn't. 
I would take a bullet for any of these people, because they make me me.



On a rather different note, what would you do if your best friend/boyfriend etc... died?
Mr Smith is always going on about that mate of his who died and we all laugh at him, which if you think about it is really harsh.

I know that if any of those people died, i miss them more than anything.
 Because if Ellen wasn't here, who would tell me how to sort my life out? 
If Jazz wasn't here, who would tell me when I was out of order? 
If Parve wasn't here, who would tell me she loved me every day? 
If Greg wasn't here, who would make me laugh even when I felt like crying?
If Husband wasn't here, who would make me laugh about the most ridiculous things, and sing Hairspray with me? 
If David wasn't here, who would i have silent conversations with? 
If Labo wasn't here, who would i dance with, without caring what i looked like? 
If Rosie wasn't here, who would I act like a fool with in tutorial? 
If Nicole wasn't here, who would I bitch endlessly with? 
If Hutty wasn't here, who would help me get through German? 
If Pooley wasn't here, who would make my bezzie really happy and therefore me really happy? If Sope wasn't here, who would sort me out and tickle my feet?

So that's why you people are on there. There are several people i haven't put on here, for various reasons but i love them as well.


If you're wondering why I wrote this blog, i just happened to be thinking about it.
It happens when you feel ill.

Monday, 12 January 2009

Thank you.

This is me saying thank you and i'm sorry.
Its a bit to hard to explain. But I'm really sorry, to everyone for various reasons.
I'll try harder. Promise.

This made me cry. So thank you.



Greg

Hannah: Summer 2008 was probably the first time she'd ever talked to me. It was only cos there was the strangest mix of people EVER on that trip and i was one of the normal ones(cough cough). She's super cool and also probably the stupidest person ive ever met. (To prove how little i know of her i only found this out recently) she used to not eat. She thought she was fat. She is one of the prettiest girls ive ever met in my life and she thought she was fat. How, god only knows. I luv her to pieces now cos she is hilarious. She is so easy to take the mick out of but then she just calls me gay and its even. She is also really impressive cos she has taken so much crap from people like Skings Howli and peeps like that and just shrugged it of and continued being her. She will also be one of the most sanctioned people i'll ever meet if she continues at this rate. And don't ask me if ive got morals cos thats her decision.


Because people like that are what you keep smiling for. I'll be more optimistic now. And stop being so self-centered all the time.

Friday, 9 January 2009

If only...

I am an idiot.

I have never been so confused in my life.
I don't think people actually realise that, yes i know I'm an idiot.
And although I know perfectly well it is impossible, you have no idea how much I want to turn back time...

Hutty's Party.

1) I WOULD NOT have broken my promise to someone who is a really good friend.
2) I WOULD NOT have got completely off my face.
3) I WOULD NOT have been so self-absorbed that I forgot to help out a mate who needed it.
4) I WOULD NOT have  done anything that arose from me being completely off my face.


School.

1) I WOULD have told him myself, because i would have deserved how much it would have hurt me to see the shock.
2) I WOULD have made up my  mind sooner, rather than causing everyone so much annoyance.
3) I WOULD have had the courage to reply instead of having his mate tell him, without me knowing.
4) I WOULD have the strength to show my feelings, instead of worrying about people who don't matter.

Now.

1)  I WILL think about others not myself, but in the long-run not the short-term.
2) I WILL stop whatever it is that i do, to people i genuinely like.
3) I WILL stop confusing happiness with whatever it is I feel.
4) I WILL stop not eating, because it just makes them worry.
5) I WILL listen to the people that matter, not those that i think do.
6) I WILL appreciate how much I have, and how little others do.
7) I WILL NOT let people get affected by my feelings,whatever they may be.


I promise I will try to do all these.


"At the end of your life you realise, the only think you ever had were the people you loved and the people who loved you."

Because I truly believe that.

xxx