If only...

I am an idiot.

I have never been so confused in my life.

I don't think people actually realise that, yes i know I'm an idiot.

And although I know perfectly well it is impossible, you have no idea how much I want to turn back time...

Hutty's Party.

1) I WOULD NOT have broken my promise to someone who is a really good friend.

2) I WOULD NOT have got completely off my face.

3) I WOULD NOT have been so self-absorbed that I forgot to help out a mate who needed it.

4) I WOULD NOT have  done anything that arose from me being completely off my face.

School.

1) I WOULD have told him myself, because i would have deserved how much it would have hurt me to see the shock.

2) I WOULD have made up my  mind sooner, rather than causing everyone so much annoyance.

3) I WOULD have had the courage to reply instead of having his mate tell him, without me knowing.

4) I WOULD have the strength to show my feelings, instead of worrying about people who don't matter.

Now.

1)  I WILL think about others not myself, but in the long-run not the short-term.

2) I WILL stop whatever it is that i do, to people i genuinely like.

3) I WILL stop confusing happiness with whatever it is I feel.

4) I WILL stop not eating, because it just makes them worry.

5) I WILL listen to the people that matter, not those that i think do.

6) I WILL appreciate how much I have, and how little others do.

7) I WILL NOT let people get affected by my feelings,whatever they may be.

I promise I will try to do all these.

"At the end of your life you realise, the only think you ever had were the people you loved and the people who loved you."

Because I truly believe that.

xxx